Sketch for painting 350mm x 350mm

Sketch for painting 350mm x 350mm

Sketch for painting 350mm x 350mm

“The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad”. Salvador Dalí

What could be better than having great blood flushing through the body?

What could be better than having great blood flushing through the muscles and body tissues?

What could be better than having great blood flushing through the brain?

Imagine falling out of a car at four years old and cracking your head open. Imagine the trauma being held in your body for forty six years, invisible to yourself and those around you (including medical experts). Imagine the confusion created by not knowing what was wrong with you, when everyday you felt lost, alone and bewildered. Imagine what an effect this might have on your life and particularly your relationship with the people around you. Imagine how it would feel if not only yourself, but also those close to you, did not understand. Imagine the effect of not being able to realise your dreams through the confusion generated by the intense stress of carrying this trauma daily through your life. Imagine the experience of releasing this car crash trauma from your very being, through self massage, over a period of six months.

This project was undertaken using myofascial techniques to release the 3D network of fascia which is the soft tissue component of the connective tissue that provides support and protection for most structures within the human body, including muscle. This soft tissue can become restricted due to psychogenic disease and trauma, often resulting in pain, muscle tension, and corresponding diminished blood flow. Although fascia and its corresponding muscle are the main targets of myofascial release, other tissue may be affected as well, including other connective tissue.

The accompanying video was made to record the transformation that I have undergone since February 5th, 2011. At that time I found that I had a trauma lodged in my body and particularly my face and skull. At the age of 7yrs I had fallen from a car and at 9yrs I was brutally attacked on my face. This trauma lodged itself inside my body. It’s effect was progressive and at the age of 52yrs my posture had deteriorated and I also had a cholesterol measure of 8.5. I was overweight and my physique and presence was extremely confused. I began a process of deep tissue massage that pre-occupied me for up to 14hrs a day. I woke at 2am in the morning to begin the process, taking several deep baths and massage the ligatures of my face, around my eyes and facial bones including my skull and neck. This extended to my whole body. During the process I shrank by 50mm and then regained 40mm. My shoulders expanded by 180mm, my arms lengthened by 200mm and my hands by 40mm. I have lost over 20kg.

I now have a cholesterol reading of 5.2. My resting heart rate is 58. The feeling of being lost and outsider has gone. The anger caused by feeling cheated and betrayed by life and by friends and lovers who criticised me for my actual and perceived failings has gone. The sense of my extreme vulnerability and fragile being replaced by a feeling of inner peace and strength from my process.
The accompanying video begins at the end and ends at my new beginning. The song ‘inside and out’ is included as a conversation with myself…